A Message From the Kids, "Listen To Us People Everywhere"

For many children between the ages of 2 and 18, the road to learning is paved with so much noise, verbal abuse, and inappropriate adult behavior. At its worst, the lives of these children are akin to attending an adult themed venue with a cacophony of a symphony orchestra competing with a cheering crowd at a sporting event in the background. Multigenerational belief systems dealing with way punishment is meted out, coupled with excessive exposure to current social themes create problems with attention and adherence to the rules of the classroom.

I am reminded of my tenure as a site administrator for a federally funded head start program. Fifty-four children, ages 3-5, reported every morning with a parent or caregiver. Some were well-mannered and polite, but the majority had very rough edges that included coarse language, bullying and other unsavory personality traits. Bits and pieces of their home life were gleaned from the lunch table discussions. Once in a remarkable and sad show of unity, they all stood up and started singing lyrics from rapper Nelly… “It’s getting hot in here, so hot in here, so take off all your clothes….”  Needless to say, the teaching staff and I put an immediate stop to the singing in a calm tone of voice that let them know the song was inappropriate.

Many of the children had a tough time falling asleep at naptime due to the quiet of the room, so I decided to form a talk circle and ask them what was going on. As I listened, I thought about conversations I had had with older children and teenagers and the following picture began to form:

 Do you hear what we hear? Our world is so terribly LOUD! Like you, we do not hear any better when someone is shouting. We hear the litany of swear words that sting with the force of a punch. We did nothing to deserve the denigration and the blame heaped upon us in great measure. We hear you use us as bargaining chips as if we are nothing more than human pawns. We often cringe in fear as we listen to you argue with our moms or our dads or the other men and women you allow in your lives and ours. We hear our teachers talk about us- our lack of aptitude, the way we dress, our hair, our lack of sophistication, how we are a waste of their time. We hear your lack of support and empathy and your dismissiveness.

Do you see what we see? Our world is filled with your oftentimes inappropriate and/or illegal behaviors. We see you abuse and being abused. We see your excesses and your self-indulgences with total disregard for our needs. We see you in drunken stupors. We see you so high on drugs you are oblivious to the fact we exist. We see your anger, your depression, your sadness, and your loneliness. We see your apathy and your inability to deal with life. We see your others as your priorities. 

Do you feel what we feel? Our world is filled with pain – emotional and physical. The sting of the belt against our naked skin, the impact of a punch to the face or body, the feeling of suffocation as your hand wraps itself around our throats. We feel the burning and ache as you invade our most private areas. We feel the shame of victimization, of misplaced trust, faith, and love. We feel the fear of your threats that force us to lie and become silent screamers. We feel the impact of your lies that hold us in harm’s way. We feel your need to hurt us, maim us, rape us, sell us and kill us. We feel fragile, broken, and worthless. We feel sadness, anger, and hopelessness.

Do you know what we know? We know that our future depends on our ability to learn and the opportunity to do so. We know we need parents and caregivers to teach us appropriate social skills, who are supportive and nurturing. We need education visionaries who are aware of and knowledgeable about the variety of  impediments that interfere with the learning process, and who create programs that address.

We need you to realize and understand that we do not all learn the same way and in the same time frame. We need to be free of bullying behaviors and physical abuse. But most of all we need you to believe that we can achieve and grow to become productive members of society. We need you to be present!

Marsha Walker Eastwood BSEd, MSHSVC

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